So, one of the reasons that half term was crazy was because we met up with a lovely local ASD support group.
The first session was at a local(ish!) soft play palace. The group had exclusive use, and it was an evening session, with all height / age restrictions removed.
I have no idea how many children were there, but we took M, J and A. It is one of the few times we've been somewhere like this and not had issues with other children, or complaints about ours.
The feeling of acceptance was overwhelming, I was able to relax and not worry. My husband and I had a coffee / hot choc and a natter. It was lovely :)
The kids had fun too - they all made friends, and there was a mass game of freeze tag going on up in the netting.
We met the same group at the end of the week too - to go bowling. Again it was an exclusive use, which helped a lot!
Bowling is awkward for us - there is such a spread of ages - 14 down to 6 - and abilities that the scores are always well spread. Seeing them all up on the screen it is very hard to encourage J and M not to compare and compete.
We often have upsets because one feels useless compared to the others, or someone decides to try and beat their Dad's score . . . and this session was no different really.
Because we are mad (!) we went from the bowling alley to do a very quick bit of shopping (two things!!) and then on to a home ed Roller Skating session. A made a new friend there, which was lovely, but M caused a bit of an issue :(
Often when we've been before the main lights are off and disco lights are on. This time the hall was lit by the main lights, so once he had his skates on M went to ask the leisure centre staff to switch the lights off. I hadn't noticed that he had gone, because I was still helping A get her skates sorted. Suddenly the hall went dark - the disco lights weren't on, and now neither were the main lights . . .
There were already people skating, and now it was very *very* dark.
Someone hurried off to find out what was going on, and M came back. We were then told that the main lights take at least TEN minutes to warm up and come on. The disco lights came on, but they weren't very bright and a lot of the bulbs seem to have been blown. So for the next eternity (or so it seemed) the kids skated in semi-darkness. Eventually the lights came on, slowly, but how daft!
It's nice to know that M feels confident enough to go and ask random adults to do things, not so sure about the staff switching all the lights off without checking . . .
The craziness continued, as when we got home L had a friend visit, then M went out to chess club, J to a social club and A to visit some friends . . .
Pretty indicative of our terribly isolated (!) children's lives really.
Showing posts with label support. Show all posts
Showing posts with label support. Show all posts
Thursday, 21 November 2013
Tuesday, 8 October 2013
Support
It is hard to underestimate the power of support. No, I don't mean a good bra ;) I mean the strength that is gained by spending time with other people who really *get it*.
Before we decided to get J and M assessed I did a lot of reading. I learnt a lot about ASD and related conditions - I felt that I needed to know what was wrong before I began the struggle to get a diagnosis.
Somehow though, even though I was pretty sure I knew the issues - to a degree - I didn't feel comfortable reaching out and finding other people locally that had children with ASD.
I wish I had reached out earlier, but it took CAMHs taking us seriously and agreeing there were issues before I felt genuine. I thought other people whose children had a diagnosis were more "official", that our experiences wouldn't count.
It's not true folks! If you suspect an issue, look on Facebook for a local support group, then go and meet them!
We have met with two groups locally, and I have had online conversations with people in two or three others, and not once have I been shunned because we don't have a diagnosis yet. I have also now made friends with a good number of local home educators whose children have difficulties and differences.
The best bit is what we have found - understanding. I never realised how much that would mean. The understanding that when something goes wrong it's (usually) not malicious, the recognition that sometimes the boys do *odd* things, that sometimes they need a bit more time, or space.
It makes me think of :
“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought that no one but myself . . ."”
― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves
Only in this case it's sharing the adventures, quirks and oddities of our children.
It is good to hear that other peoples children do the things M and J do - the things that drive me mad - because that shows those things are a feature of their issues, not naughtiness.
It is great to get to know home educators whose children have oddities too - in some of them I can see what would have happened if M and J had gone to school, in others I can see issues developing that we have overcome, in yet others I can see what might be coming our way. In every case it is an awesome feeling to listen, to share and to be listened to, because this can be a tough road. With a good support group around us it needn't be a lonely road.
Each of us has a different perspective on our children, different experiences to share, different challenges to overcome, but together we really are stronger.
Before we decided to get J and M assessed I did a lot of reading. I learnt a lot about ASD and related conditions - I felt that I needed to know what was wrong before I began the struggle to get a diagnosis.
Somehow though, even though I was pretty sure I knew the issues - to a degree - I didn't feel comfortable reaching out and finding other people locally that had children with ASD.
I wish I had reached out earlier, but it took CAMHs taking us seriously and agreeing there were issues before I felt genuine. I thought other people whose children had a diagnosis were more "official", that our experiences wouldn't count.
It's not true folks! If you suspect an issue, look on Facebook for a local support group, then go and meet them!
We have met with two groups locally, and I have had online conversations with people in two or three others, and not once have I been shunned because we don't have a diagnosis yet. I have also now made friends with a good number of local home educators whose children have difficulties and differences.
The best bit is what we have found - understanding. I never realised how much that would mean. The understanding that when something goes wrong it's (usually) not malicious, the recognition that sometimes the boys do *odd* things, that sometimes they need a bit more time, or space.
It makes me think of :
“Friendship is born at that moment when one person says to another: "What! You too? I thought that no one but myself . . ."”
― C.S. Lewis, The Four Loves
Only in this case it's sharing the adventures, quirks and oddities of our children.
It is good to hear that other peoples children do the things M and J do - the things that drive me mad - because that shows those things are a feature of their issues, not naughtiness.
It is great to get to know home educators whose children have oddities too - in some of them I can see what would have happened if M and J had gone to school, in others I can see issues developing that we have overcome, in yet others I can see what might be coming our way. In every case it is an awesome feeling to listen, to share and to be listened to, because this can be a tough road. With a good support group around us it needn't be a lonely road.
Each of us has a different perspective on our children, different experiences to share, different challenges to overcome, but together we really are stronger.
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